Today has been one of those mornings where I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep all day.I haven’t been sleeping very well the last few weeks,last night I went to the library at 3am to get some work done and then meal prepped some lunches/dinners.I have lectures until 3pm and then athletics at 7pm.I can do this!
My course so far is not quite what I was expecting.I thought we would have more contact hours I am only in university two days this week.The rest is independant study and I am finding it quite difficult.I think because my gap year was pretty full on and I worked a lot having all this time to just learn makes me feel lazy and as though I am not doing enough.
I start placement on the 6th November which will be three 12.5hr shifts a week plus one day in university,I can’t wait as it will be busy!I am a bit anxious about how I will fit in training into the schedule but I am sure it will work out.
The hospital trust where I will be placed also offers zero hour contracts in various jobs around the hospital so I will look into working during the Christmas holidays and when I am not on placement.
Feeling a bit lost has left me longing a bit for the scales.Maybe for some control or numerical reassurance that I am ok.I am being mindful of these thoughts.I am still determined to stay healthy and live an ED free life.
I apologise for not being all that positive,I just feel in a bit of a slump.
LIVE LOVE RUN AGAIN 
YES YES YES! This is exactly what I’m worried about when I go to uni . . . I’m currently working and I feel like when I go back it might feel like I’m not being productive or spending my time well xx
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Yep,I feel that way at the moment,I’ll probably be eating my words though once placement starts!X
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Starting at University is a massive life transition, it’s natural that you would feel a little slump, especially with all the changes in routine. Reduced contact hours is something a lot of students report finding hard (I work in a University) so figuring out a way to still have a routine on these days until you start placement might be worth it- getting into the habit of going into the library or forming study groups with your course mates might help? You can also approach your personal tutor as they will be well used to supporting people through this transition. These are only suggestions- feel free to ignore- but going back to an eating disorder will definitely not help, so whatever you do keep fighting that! Good luck!
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Thank you for the support.I am meeting my personal tutor tomorrow so can discuss this.
I am going to the library and completing the required study but it just doesn’t feel like enough!?
I have 8 contact hours next week and then 0 the week after due to reading week.The lack of structure makes me quite anxious.
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Take care of yourself and do whatever feels right even if that’s a duvet day. In a few weeks you’ll look back and be proud of yourself no matter what, this is a tough adjustment period – best of luck
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Thank you!Xx
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You have to do you first, I know that uni can be overwhelming at times especially during the adjustment period that’s when you have to pay extra close attention- well I know I do-because I’m so accustomed to home life and coping with whatever may come my way at home, I know that I’m just a tad bit more vulnerable. So do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel good! I like to relax with a face mask, watch some RuPaul and tell myself that everything is as it should and will work itself out. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll take it as it comes one step at a time. It’s normal to feel this way for a bit! Sending hugs and positive vibes xx
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Thank you,I’m just finding the lack of structure quite difficult!I got into the habit of working long shifts during my gap year and then I went travelling so I’m used to constantly being busy and now there is all this empty time!I am doing the required study but I still feel so lazy and like it’s not enough
I’m sure the workload will increase and I will be eating my words soon😂
Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to read.Hope you have a good week!Xx
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