Today has been one of those mornings where I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep all day.I haven’t been sleeping very well the last few weeks,last night I went to the library at 3am to get some work done and then meal prepped some lunches/dinners.I have lectures until 3pm and then athletics at 7pm.I can do this!
My course so far is not quite what I was expecting.I thought we would have more contact hours I am only in university two days this week.The rest is independant study and I am finding it quite difficult.I think because my gap year was pretty full on and I worked a lot having all this time to just learn makes me feel lazy and as though I am not doing enough.
I start placement on the 6th November which will be three 12.5hr shifts a week plus one day in university,I can’t wait as it will be busy!I am a bit anxious about how I will fit in training into the schedule but I am sure it will work out.
The hospital trust where I will be placed also offers zero hour contracts in various jobs around the hospital so I will look into working during the Christmas holidays and when I am not on placement.
Feeling a bit lost has left me longing a bit for the scales.Maybe for some control or numerical reassurance that I am ok.I am being mindful of these thoughts.I am still determined to stay healthy and live an ED free life.
I apologise for not being all that positive,I just feel in a bit of a slump.