Belonging

I never felt a sense of belonging I longed for meaning, A calling. I found it temporarily in the grips of an eating disorder, My life felt somewhat in order Ordered by numbers on scales Numbers on labels. I searched for belonging In one night stands The touch of hands. I didn't deserve anyone sober …

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The world is spinning,

The world is spinning, As you are counting,weighing,killing Time. Outside kids are playing in the street, Jumping,laughing,rushing Around. you are binging,purging,flushing out, Trying to not make a sound. friends are moving out, friends are growing up. They are growing,blossoming,becomming, You are shrinking,thinning,shunning, The opportunity of a life. They are thriving You,only surviving. Friends are partying,dancing,singing, …

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Hidden in plain sight, Looked upon, Their eyes filled with fright. Empty,that's what it was, No laughter,no joy. pain. playing the games, Deadly games.   Exhausting,exhausting, That's what it was. Sinking,sinking, No vision,no feelings. Blind.   Exhausting,exhausting, It still is. My hope sinks like stones, In a house not a home. No ambitions,no dreams, Numb.   But …

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Critical mind

Measuring your worth by; Numbers on scales, Number of fails, Infinite mistakes, Others hardly make. Imperfect grades and judgements about weight. Poor communication and robotic conversations. "Emotionless,uninterested" "Didn't catch her smile once." Can I please have another chance? If it wasn't for dedication, It'd be an easy replacement. The comparissons, Are just for embarassmemt. Caring …

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