Why do people with “no reasons” have mental health problems?

I cannot provide a reason for some of the things that I have done and still do.I can explain that some of it was loneliness,a need for control e.t.c but I do not have any “real reasons”. I had a fine childhood,there were some things which made me hate myself or made me have a lot of anxiety but it was never anything Major.

Maybe it is attention seeking.I don’t mean it to be.I didn’t want people’s attention when I had an ED.Its quite the opposite,you want to be left alone.Its the same with self harm I DONT want people to know.I would never do it on my arms anymore as I do not want people to see it as attention seeking.

A couple days ago I self harmed due to being low and anxious.My mum noticed today  as I was wearing running shorts and some of it showed. She got really angry at me saying I have no reason to do it and wait till I tell your dad.I am terrified of what my dad will say.

I know I have no legitimate reason but in the moment I just reach for a razor and feel in control.

I don’t know how to explain it to her.I have to hide things from my parents or they get so pissed off.Like when I had an eating disorder and there were so so many arguments and It literally broke my heart when my dad said things like “you’ll kill your mum if you carry on like that” and stuff like that because at the time I was so deep in the eating disorder I just couldn’t snap out of it.Even when I did get better there were comments like “it won’t make a difference as you’ll still be a horrible person on the inside” Since recovering our relationship is pretty good but I always worry about what would happen if things went downhill again.I have forgiven my dad for things he said to me.I hope he can forgive me for having an ED.

I just wish they could not know about anything.It would have been so much easier.

I have been trying so hard to get my life back on track and be “normal” and not a drain or burden on them.Yet it seems that if I fix one thing such as the eating disorder I will still screw up in another way. 

Don’t get me wrong I love life so much,I am positive and happy most of the time.So I don’t know how to make this right.How to justify my past,scars and present.

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8 thoughts on “Why do people with “no reasons” have mental health problems?

  1. I totally get what you mean. I don’t necessarily have a reason but I’m trying to get out of that mindset. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate and they can fall upon anyone no matter how rich you are or how happy your life is

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Why does there have to be a reason? This is an indescribable feeling. Yeah it can be reasoned away with parts of this problem and a handful of that but overall it’s a feeling that sets me off, something I do not words for, and trust me I’ve tried.
    Communication is the best thing, talk, talk, talk and talk some more. If you cannot speak, write it down and lock it away for a time you are ready, if you cannot bear to do that then paint it, sing it or burn it – whatever you choose you need to let it out and not take it out on yourself. I cannot identify with self harm but I know pain and with support and understanding I know the pain will lesson. Your family and friends want to help so let them in somehow. I wish you happiness and light – keep writing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can’t say for sure but for me, I call it “The Longing” my soul craves for something beyond this realm, It is placed there by my creator and is only relieved through connecting or trying to improve the connection with that, It never goes away completely-Surrender is imperative

    Liked by 1 person

  4. No one needs to forgive you for having an ED — it is in no way your fault. You should be proud of yourself for trying to work through it. ❤️

    And yes, it’s very frustrating to have mental health issues and not be able to find any reason for them, but the truth is there is no reason. You can have everything thing in the world and still have a disorder. They’re just a chemical imbalance, and they don’t discriminate. You’re not seeking attention; please do not blame yourself for any of this.

    You have great thoughts and I think you’re doing really well considering what you’re dealing with! And you’re very brave to be able to talk about it.

    Best wishes to you 💕😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you,
      It is hard to explain it to people who have not experienced it.I just wish my parents could understand that I never would want to trouble or hurt them.

      I agree that in part mental health issues are imbalances of the brain chemicals.Part nature ,part nurture.

      I have read some of your blog posts and you have a real talent for writing!I look forward to reading more!

      Best wishes to you too!❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aw, I really hope your parents will understand eventually.

        And yes, mental health issues are definitely part nature, part nurture.

        Thank you! I’m really glad you like my writing! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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