So our second day in Bulgaria did not go quite to plan!We were meant to take a cable car up to a place called Alekko and then hike up vitosha mountain however it was closed.We were pretty dissapointed but decided to just make the best of the situation so we walked to the bus station and bought coach tickets to Greece!just like that!It was so spontaneous!We didn’t even buy return tickets as we didn’t have enough money on us.So tomorrow we have a 5 hour bus journey to Greece and we will stay there until Monday as the weather in Bulgaria is meant to be pretty rubbish!
We spent the rest of the day looking at places we can go to in Greece and sorting out accommodation e.t.c ,we chilled in the park,visited the Alexander Nebrasky Cathedral and anything else we wanted to see before we leave.
As we are going to go to the beach tomorrow we went on a mission to buy some cheap bikinis to wear which was pretty challenging in terms of body image and thoughts but I had this moment today where I realised “I fucking love living” .I like living a life and the experiences that come with it.Being able to just be spontaneous and change plans last minute,being free!
We went out for dinner again and all had pizza this time which was so so nice.Did hesitate for a moment but decided to screw ED thoughts and go with it!I have zero regrets.
Travel can be difficult,it can be a mind game,There’s always an excuse not too eat ; “too anxious”, “stomach hurts” ,”not hungry.You feel guilty.But why?Life is good right now,but the thing with an ED is that it can creep in at any time.Sometimes slowly,sometimes all at once.When life is good or when life is hard.So be honest with yourself,don’t bullshit,don’t make excuses.Be transparent with those around you and trust their judgement.Remebering that life is short and fleeting,no one at the end of their life will give a damn about what they ate.Restriction and binging or purging or over exercising are not solutions to anything just distractions from what’s going on inside or in your life.
Snap back into reality.Do you want to be the friend ,daughter,son people have to worry about or someone who owned their shit and lived?
Read a quote the other day “if these were your final days,would you be happy with the time you gave?”
At the moment my answer to that is no.There is so much more to see and experience and contribute to this world.An ED is not compatible with those plans so I will do my best to keep it out.