Yesterday I went to yoga for the first time in a long time and I absolutely love it.I felt so connected and grounded in the class. It was based on a full moon sequence. I learnt that the full moon is a time to release what no longer serves us and this provides room to set new goals and intentions. I feel like this is very relevant to where I am in life right now. I am leaving the eating disorder behind, leaving my job, going travelling and then to university.One chapter in life is coming to an end but a new one is just beginning.
I recently had a blog post I wrote about identity published on beatingeatingdisorders.com. An ED therapist commented saying that one of the best parts of her job is when clients find the courage the let go of the eating disorder and blossom into “themselves” It can be terrifying to let go of the eating disorder as it can feel like there is a huge empty hole left and you don’t know what to fill it with. It can be exciting however to see what takes over the space no longer filled by the eating disorder. I think it is important to find meaningful things in life to fill this space and allow yourself to grow as a person beyond the eating disorder identity or you may feel empty and unfulfilled. You have to put “life” back into your life. I feel as though I have no room for the eating disorder at the moment. There is too much excitement,hope,acceptance in me.
I still struggle with thoughts of unworthiness, self hate e.t.c but I choose to observe these feelings rather than to act on them and be destructive. I channel what I feel into art and dancing. I have been doing a lot of art recently. Sometimes I find a particular song which leads me to be inspired and I have it on replay the whole time while I create a piece of art. Last night I had “The answer” by Joss stone on replay. I love the lyrics; “find your strength, fight for peace, there’s a light in your release. Let love win, just give in.The next is bright, so you can find the answer.”