Progress not perfection is a motto to live by. All too often it is easy to get caught up in being perfect in all aspects of life. Perfectionism is not always necessarily a bad thing but if you get a lot of anxiety over not being perfect or have fears of failing and not being good enough then it can have a negative impact on your mood and self esteem.
Sometimes you may be hard on yourself and feel like you have not made enough progress or are not doing well enough. I get so frustrated when I end up purging after a few weeks without it.But beating yourself up over something like that can lead to more guilt,shame,self hate,anxiety which can make you feel like giving up and continuing the cycle.
Sometimes you may take small steps, over times big leaps but it all counts. Small changes make a big difference in the long run and being proud of them can help boost confidence and self esteem and make you feel like “YES I CAN ACTUALLY DO THIS!”
Today I am proud for breaking a binge and purge cycle that started a few days ago,for taking medication, for getting out of bed, for going to work training. It may sound small and trivial but I feel like a bag of nerves recently. I am full and feel horrid right now but this feeling will not last forever. The cycle has to be broken somewhere. I can’t shake the feeling of fear ,I don’t even know what I am scared of. I guess purging can have a great calming effect.Healthy coping mechanisms are something I have been trying to use and colouring like crazy and listening to music but it doesn’t seem to help that much.
There is no strength without struggle. Tomorrow will be a good day.Writting out what you have planned for the day and seeing it on paper can make it feel more manageable.Also having a rough idea of when you will eat can help reduce binging/purging urges.For example tomorrow my day looks roughly like this:
7:30 am wake up,drink coffee, take the dog out
8:00 am Have breakfast, get dressed
8:40 am Catch the bus
9:00-17:00pm training at new job and lunch/snacks in between
17:00pm catch bus home/walk home
17:30 pm Have dinner and go to work
18:00pm-11:00pm ish work
11:30pm home, eat,shower,sleep
Its busy but seems so much simpler when broken down.
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”