To weigh or not to weigh?

The weighing scales in my house are under the bed in my parents room which is adjacent to mine. Although I am trying to stop weighing myself I am failing. I don’t weigh myself as much as I used to and most of the time I don’t let the number on the scale dictate what I eat or do anymore. Not weighing myself makes me so anxious, I just NEED to know and so I find myself stepping on the scale.

So why am I so afraid to let go of this habit?I am scared of losing control. I am afraid I wont step on the scale for a month and then one day I will only to have found I have gained 1000000000kg.I know this is irrational and a disordered thought and I am working on .I just hate the thought of losing control.

Its also a hard habit to break as I have been weighing myself since childhood. I remember how much I weighed when I was at various ages. Although I did not make an effort to control my weight back then I would still check my weight. I am not really sure why. I kind of think I was following what I saw a family member doing. It was only later on I began thinking that the lower the number is the better and acted on it.

So why stop weighing yourself?

1)Fluctuations in weight are NORMAL.I find some weeks I may be up a kg then the next day down a kg.Particularly if I am on my period (Sorry Too much info) If the number goes up suddenly it can freak out the eating disorder and intensify negative thoughts and urges to use behiaviours such as restriction,purging,exercise e.t.c

2)Every body has its natural set point. Maybe if you stop weighing yourself you would be more comfortable with allowing your body to reach it.

3)A number on the scale will never tell you how amazing,clever,talented,kind and loved you are. (You may not believe these things but others do)Self esteem shouldn’t hang on a number.

4)You do not need a number to validate what you eat/do. For example you don’t need the number to be X in order to eat chocolate. If the number is above X that shouldn’t mean you need to exercise. The number shouldn’t dictate how you live your life.

5)I’ts pointless!!!Imagine if you were to measure your height everyday it would be ridiculous,so whats the point in weighing yourself everyday?

The nurse I see sent me these questions and I will try answer them when I have the urge to weigh myself. Which is pretty much whenever I’m home.

To Weigh or Not to Weigh?

Is weighing myself part of my present treatment goal?

Will weighing myself help me with how I feeling at this time?

 

  • How?

 

Will weighing myself hinder me with how I am feeling at this time?

 

  • How?

 

How will I feel immediately after should I chose to weigh myself?

How will I feel later on if I chose to weigh myself?

Is there anything else I could that might help me manage how I am feeling at this time?

What would Kathryn say if I was to ask her whether weighing would be helpful to me?

With this in mind what informed decision am I going to make?

I am thinking of this as a bad habit I need to break.Its like when you first stop trying to bite your fingernails. You may not succeed the first time but eventually (hopefully) You will. You didn’t develop a habit like weighing yourself overnight so it probably wont be broken overnight either. But you can do it.The most important thing is to not just give up because you don’t succeed in giving up weighing yourself straight away.Just because you weighed yourself in the morning doesn’t mean you need to weigh yourself another 10 times that day.

Honestly though I have no idea how some people go through life with never knowing how much they weigh or simply not caring. How do they do it? For me weighing myself isn’t tied to how I look. I know I look fine, its not that I think I’m fat, I just cannot stop weighing myself. One day at a time though I will try stop. I hope to go to university in September and there is no way I am taking a scale with me!!!There is absolutely now way I will have scales at home when I have a family (Though I doubt anyone would want to have children with me haha).I really hope my children (if I have them)will not feel their need to know their weight.I really hope.

I wrote a post on why numbers shouldn’t have power over you,the link is here:

https://liveloverunagain.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/power-in-numbers/

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