Value spending time with others

I guess you miss how we used to talk,

How we used to laugh,

And Wander, and walk.

 

I guess I miss how we used to smile,

In the moment,

Just for a while.

 

I think back to rainy days,

Old board games,

And relief in praise.

 

I really wish this cloud would drift,

the rain would pour,

And be reduced to mist.

 

I’m sorry this enraged cloud,

spills and drains,

Binding momentsup

in locks and chains.

 

Because I cant explain how much I miss

When going home was just that.

And Together we’d be sat on a summers day,

Not counting the hours,

Blurry and hazed.

 

When an escapade was more than behind

closed doors,

Softening the creaking spine of

bony wooden floor.

 

More than flushing out the rush

of cremated ,blazed logic.

 

Ending up once more

Tracing the tiles on stone cold floor.

 

When people generally think of the side effects of an ED things that come to mind are hair loss,fatigue,fainting,muscle cramps e.t.c but the truth is so many of the side effects are hidden.No one tells you how much precious time you lose because you are so preoccupied with the thoughts in your head.That time seems blurred as memories are not clear or simply because you didn’t make the effort to make any because you put time and energy into the ED rather than putting it into what really matters.Yes restoring physical health is important but I hope to restore much more than that.I hope to once again feel fully present around and put more time and energy into my parents,friends,hobbies and things that matter.Not an ED because an Ed doesn’t give back,it only takes.

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One thought on “Value spending time with others

  1. A beautiful, heartbreaking poem. I’m so proud of you for trying to recover and get back to a good health again, I know its hard not to focus on everything you missed out on but only use that as motivation, look to the future and the good times that come with it as you recover over time, I love you, look forward to seeing you soon xx

    Like

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